Have you lost your self-confidence?

By berrysmotivation - December 06, 2016

A brief personal story/experience.
I grew up as the last child basically any and most decisions were made for me till a certain age where I had to grow up at a faster pace. I had to embrace maturity earlier than I should. There were circumstances where I doubted myself, I found myself compromising my standards just to fit in, I settled for less and accepted less. Difficult to say but at a phase in my life, I was rejected, underestimated, doubted and even blamed for the mistakes of others. This obviously at some point made me lose that confidence I would have had as a young girl, a growing teenager and a young adult. Confidence for me was there, then it wasn’t there then it was and then I finally lost it. Many people didn’t perceive that on meeting me for the first time but I knew what I was battling with deep within. It took me many long years to realise how much I had really let myself down. Through it all I tried to remain strong for myself, by myself and with myself although there were lots to handle.
With growth and added wisdom, I started to listen to people, now not just anyone but intelligent, focused and highly intellectual people. One of these many people I listened to was myself. Hence I tell people, I’m self-motivated.

Have you lost yourself confidence?

Here’s how to find out.
Do you constantly doubt yourself?
Do you walk into a place trying so hard to seek approval or to fit in?
Do you consistently lower your standards to please others?
Do you find your-self doing things you shouldn’t do just to make people like you?
Do you look down on yourself?
Do you feel everyone else is better than you?
Do you feel you deserve nothing good?
Are you in place or relationship you shouldn't be?
Are you scared to be seen or scared to speak for yourself?
Have you lost it all?

Here’s the formula that helped a friend that helped me and still helping me.
  •  I have to always tell myself I’m the best.
  •  I have to go into a place knowing that I can do just anything I decide to do and even if I do not get the desired results, I know it’s for a good reason.
  •  I believe I can get the best of anything if I put my mind to it.
  •  I refused to lower my standards
  •  I believe more in myself
  •  I walked out of relationships/friendships that didn't help me grow as a person.
Self-confidence is a fragrance that should be worn daily. It is easily perceived by anyone and the environment. It is a daily tool kit carried about and should be used habitually.
Do not let anyone make you doubt who you are, as a matter of fact run away from anyone who does not see the best in you.  Carefully pick who you listen to. A popular medical doctor and a lifestyle blogger http://alittlebitoflacquer.blogspot.co.uk/ said in one of her motivational tweets be careful who you take constructive criticism from, be sure they have constructed something.

Do not go about trying hard to be approved by society or anyone. The moment you start to give a hoot about what everyone thinks, you begin to lose yourself and start to live for others.
Wear your confidence like a crown, now you must be ready to set goals and achieve them to be confident. You can’t accept mediocrity and wear confidence, they just don’t fit. You have to be ready to take risks and accept challenges. 
Life is what we make of it. Make the best of it.

                    Warm thoughts,

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  1. Yes o..well said as always... I remember a point I was in a dark place, I lost what made me Dera and i was disappointed in myself, not because I was at that point in my life, but cos I decided to wallow in it for awhile before I realized that only me, myself and I can cahange things.. thanks for always motivating us.. And like they say what doesn't Kill you, only makes u Stronger. You are a stronger being today because of your past..

  2. Nice����������word!

  3. Brilliant. Well I would say fortunately for me I have never had an issue with self confidence and as a person I have always been super self motivated. I understood my being and knew I could push myself to the limit to achieve more.
    Do you think low self confidence is more with the female gender and why? I would like to read your opinion about this question and by the way I am a huge fan.

    1. For me i think its about our individual differences. For the guys it could come more naturally due to their dominant temperament. For the ladies, aside our natural temperament, the society directly or indirectly, consciously and unconsciously makes us subservient. Not many easily break out of this circle or discover themselves early enough to make a turning point.

  4. Well said... Hopefully, more and more people will read this and get the strength to take such bold and life changing decision.

    1. Definitely. I hope everyone does. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. Nice one Mute, quite an inspiring piece.

    1. Thank You dear, I'm glad you like it and it inspires you. Thanks.